The poison called ‘hate’
Someone may have hurt you recently or a long time ago, and you cannot forget it. You did not deserve to be hurt. It has become stuck in your memory and does not easily fade away. It has deeply lodged in your memory, where it continues to cause pain. You are not alone in this experience. Many of us face similar situations in our lives, such as a friend betraying us, a parent abusing us, or a spouse leaving us. This has become commonplace. However, people often say that we should forgive and forget in order to avoid regrets. Is this truly possible? In real life, it seems that this approach doesn't work. Our instincts tell us that those who deceitfully hurt others with a smile should be held accountable. They should pay a price for their guilt and unkind acts of betrayal. Consequently, it is natural for a woman to wish her former husband unhappiness with his new wife. Someone who betrayed me would ideally lose their job sooner than expected. The negative thoughts surrounding the supposed betrayal are not easily erased from our memory. Hate is like a malignant force that seems to haunt us throughout our lives, damaging both our physical and mental health. Hate appears to hurt the one who carries it more than the one who is hated.
Surgery of the Spirit
Just as a child frees a butterfly trapped in their hands with joy, can you let go of hatred just like that? Can you truly gain control over the poison that seems to deteriorate your mental and physical well-being? What kind of soul surgery is needed to break free from this stagnant state? Let us acknowledge reality and progress by consciously disciplining our minds.
ü Confronting Your Malice: You were an exceptional teacher deserving of promotion ahead of others. Your students adored your work and openly praised you. This may have, quite unknowingly, triggered animosity among your colleagues. They could be instigated by the boss to spew verbal abuses periodically, as they engage in a covert game. Your rise in rank poses a genuine concern for him, given his lack of popularity among the students and staff. If allowed to thrive, you might surpass him someday. From the very beginning, you felt the heat without realizing that you were being downgraded, devalued, and unjustly attacked. Despite receiving excellent reports from students, you were denied the recognition you deserved. Unable to endure it any longer, you make the decision to confront the malice openly and firmly. Initially, your boss will be taken aback by your direct approach. Later, he will offer various excuses, claiming he made sincere efforts for your promotion but couldn't succeed. He will attempt to conceal himself behind a pile of feeble reasons. When you lay your cards on the table, revealing the truth behind the scenes, he becomes somewhat bewildered. His faltering voice and frantic search for appropriate words convince you that he does not merit the attention he has received thus far. You feel compassion for him and begin to pity a poor, feeble soul perpetually trapped in a web of deceit that will eventually destroy him. With a smile, you move forward and explore alternatives to rekindle your spirits elsewhere
ü Separate the wrongdoer from the wrong: People can be greedy, jealous, and have a habit of greeting you with a smile while unleashing the harshest abuses the moment you leave their presence. They relish finding faults in others, criticizing them, and solely focusing on their negatives. The gossip, approving glances, and ensuing applause, when someone is exposed,-- feel like a blow to the gut. They appear to derive pleasure from this amusement. However, the wrongdoer is often unaware of the guilt they are spreading or the sins they are accumulating over time by degrading and depreciating others. They rely on half-truths and spread various rumors. Perhaps they harbor a personal vendetta, which lingers in their mind as they engage in unkind attacks from behind the scenes. Therefore, to heal your mind, direct your anger towards the act itself, not the person committing it. Strip away the wrongdoer's sins and vile actions, focusing on the true essence hidden beneath their wrongdoing. Draw closer to that person. Once you recognize the human inclination for gossip and spreading rumors, a glimmer of hope emerges. You will view the individual through a new lens. If you decide to quit and find comfort in a new position, you will no longer be gripped by those negative thoughts. Years later, you might even discover that the person(s) who constantly badmouthed you and did everything possible to ruin your life has paid the price. They were forced to relinquish their title, position, and prestige due to numerous complaints from the staff and students who could no longer tolerate their overbearing, dominating, and sabotaging nature.
ü Bury the past and move on: Life is akin to a train journey, where we encounter strangers who become temporary companions. We share fleeting moments, exchanging notes and opening our hearts, but as we reach our destinations, we part ways. There is no value in dwelling on the past, no significance in holding onto feelings, thoughts, or actions that have already transpired. We faced them, confronted them, and emerged from those experiences. Whether we won or lost, we must bury the past. The journey with a former spouse has ended, the chapter with a previous job where a boss rode roughshod over us has closed, and the path alongside bullying colleagues has faded away. Remembering these things serves no purpose in our lives; it only taints the present. Perhaps you have done countless acts of kindness for your own family members, including siblings. Yet, they seem to forget every single one, instead persistently criticizing you for not doing enough. You may have also extended your generosity to friends, only to find that no one remembers or acknowledges your deeds. This is the way the world works. If we do things with expectations of reciprocation, we are bound to be disappointed. It is better to focus on the beautiful present, rather than living in a constant state of guilt, negativity, and regret. Life is fleeting, and we must embrace it fully, relishing each precious moment. Letting go of the past is a sign of a healthy mind, body, and soul, acting in unison and directing our attention towards enriching our lives in the present.
ü Kill the hate habit, now and forever: The habit of hate is not easily shaken off; it lingers, especially when the wounds run deep. Escaping the shell of shock inflicted by those wicked souls is no easy task. The misdeeds, the wrongdoings, and the overwhelming sense of being taken advantage of keep engulfing your mind, forcing you to replay the whole ordeal repeatedly. It leaves you in a state of distress, particularly when similar situations resurface before you. Escaping the smoke screen is a challenge in itself. Like any detrimental habit, overcoming the guilt and pain of being hurt or manipulated requires constant effort and introspection. Many may criticize you for seemingly allowing the wrongdoer to escape without consequences, accusing you of meekly surrendering. It has been labeled as embracing a "beggar's refuge." Such feelings grip you tightly, leading to an endless cycle of negativity. However, vengeance never truly settles the score. If we all adhere to a "tit for tat" brand of justice, the world would be left blind. Forgiveness is the only means to release ourselves from the clutches of pain and start anew with hope and enthusiasm. It is not a sign of weakness; rather, it signifies strength. It takes courage to confront the unforgivable wounds inflicted upon our minds, bodies, and souls. Forgiveness also carries an element of love. If we genuinely cherish our lives and the fleeting moments of happiness they offer, we would never immerse ourselves in thoughts of retaliation or seeking revenge against those who have harmed us through their actions, whether intentional or unintentional.
The power of forgiveness is immense, and it is something we should wholeheartedly embrace. Forgiveness frees us from the burden of resentment, anger, and pain. It allows us to let go of the past, releasing us from the grip of negativity. By forgiving, we open ourselves up to healing, growth, and inner peace. It is an act of strength and courage, demonstrating our ability to rise above the hurt and choose compassion instead. Embracing forgiveness enables us to break free from the cycle of revenge, choosing love and understanding instead. It liberates us to live fully in the present, fostering harmonious relationships and nurturing our own well-being. Ultimately, forgiveness is a transformative gift we give ourselves, paving the way for a brighter future filled with empathy, joy, and genuine connections with others.
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